![]() I prepare my food for the upcoming day and then at 5:00 am I jump on my bike for my 35 minute commute through the Arizona landscape. Who knew I would reach my mid-seventies and have the body and libido of a high school student without the use of PEDS, (performing enhancing drugs) like steroids, testosterone or SARMS?Ī typical day for me is bed at 5:00 pm, up at midnight for a five mile run, some stretching, a healthy breakfast, maybe a nap, and then on to my creative endeavors which include writing my book “The Elder Athlete”, researching health and fitness articles, playing guitar, piano and song writing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see how exactly how much damage a comedian can do if you give them a rocket launcher, infinite ammo and an inventory full of bacon cheeseburgers.Who knew these declining years would be so wonderful? Who knew I would still be out there kicking ass and taking names? Who knew I would be living happily alone in a Spartan paradise and flourishing? It gives you more freedom than almost any roguelike, and its varied cast of characters, combined with the randomness of traits and mutators, mean no two runs play out the same way. Those sticking points aside, Streets of Rogue is absolutely worth playing, and once you start, it’s hard to stop. In a game with a caricatured world where chicken nuggets are a black market currency, the inclusion of slavery is jarring, especially when the slaves make jokes (“Hey, remember when you literally owned me? Wow, those were the days…”). Most levels have slavemasters that you can buy slaves from, and you can unlock the slavemaster as a playable character. The inclusion of slavery feels entirely out of place, too. And the four-player co-op isn’t much fun with strangers because distractions scatter players in different directions. As I mentioned, the levels are uninspiring-each three-floor stage has a different skin, but the changes never really affect the action. It’s too easy to get into buildings by knocking on the door, waiting for the person to answer and ducking inside as soon as they turn around. Commanding your companions is fiddly, but if you don’t micromanage them they’ll run off and get themselves killed. There are a few things I find bothersome. I’m off to see how exactly how much damage a comedian can do if you give them a rocket launcher, infinite ammo and an inventory full of bacon cheeseburgers. (Image credit: Matt Dabrowski/tinyBuildE) After a series of slower runs I turned on bigger bullets, exploding bodies, and faster move speed. It’s a build-your-own roguelike, basically, and you can make it as hard or as easy as you like. Streets of Rogue also boasts a huge list of custom rules, called mutators, that you can toggle on and off, and you can decide exactly which traits and items appear in the unlock pool. I pair a trait that lets me recruit extra followers with one that gives followers more health to start a roving gang that can win almost any fight. Finishing a floor lets you choose a trait from a list of three, and you can push for a specific playstyle by picking traits that match. MutationsĮven if you stick with one character, each run takes on its own personality thanks to the items you find in shops, chests and safes, as well as the traits you pick up between levels. I also just discovered eating burnt bodies restores more HP as the cannibal, so I buy a flamethrower whenever I can. I only just realised, for example, that hackers can hack fridges to make them literally ‘run’ (geddit?), flattening anyone in their path and then bursting open to reveal the food inside, which restores HP. I still have a handful of characters to unlock, including a vampire who must kill a hidden werewolf on each level.Īnd after 15 hours, I’m still finding new ways to use characters I thought I’d mastered. Streets of Rogue is not groundbreaking as either, but being able to choose between 26 different playstyles makes it hard to stop playing. With the soldier and their machinegun, it’s a top-down shooter. With the assassin, who can go invisible and chain stab enemies, I’m playing a slow-burn stealth game. These quests, and the unique traits of each character, make picking a new class feel like playing a completely different game.
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